


Wrecking Ball

by iCarlyAngst



Category: iCarly
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-02-12
Updated: 2011-02-25
Packaged: 2014-10-30 08:59:34
Rating: M
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,250
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6738759/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2322272/iCarlyAngst
Summary: "I had to break her down, before I could build her back up." A violent love story. Are Seddie ones any other kind? Rated M for teen drinking, swearing and other debauchery. *eyebrow wiggle*





	1. Break

A/N

So this was supposed to be my one shot for the round the world heard cabal posting. But I'm thinking it's at least a 3 part-er…maybe more. We'll see. It's totally AU and OOC because I can't write canon for shit. Just like everything else I write, it's M for lots of reasons. Teen drinking. swearing, smut. You've been sufficiently warned.

* * *

She sat on the floor picking at her nails, the awkward silence permeating the air as we waited for Carly to return. I had avoided situations that left us alone since…that incident, and it was the first time we'd been alone since…it…had happened.

I wanted to make the silence bearable, so I started thinking of things to say. Things that wouldn't get me punched in the face or laughed at.

I was failing miserably.

I looked over at her and she was smirking at me knowingly.

"What?" I asked, irritated that Sam was always so damn knowing. Like this awkwardness wasn't affecting her in the least. I huffed in annoyance that I was probably the only one in the twosome that was overanalyzing the crap out of what happened, and I was probably the only one that felt awkward about it at all.

She shook her head, smiling widely as her blonde curls bounced around her head. I continued glaring at her, and she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Carly walked in with three sodas and a large plate of nachos.

Sam's attention was immediately transfixed by the chips and cheese in front of her. Any thought of the words she was about to say to me immediately forgotten. I hated how much it annoyed me. I hated how casual she could be in front of me. I hated how easily she went back to the way it always was between us.

I jumped up; the sudden urge to be as far away from her as possible overcoming me.

"Where are you going?" Carly asked.

I mumbled something about needing to fix a computer for the show, and basically sprinted out of the room, slamming the door behind me. But not before I caught a glimpse of the blonde headed demon giving me a look that could have almost been construed as hurt. But that wasn't possible seeing as she didn't have a soul.

* * *

**3 weeks earlier**

"_Just give me the damn thing back, dorkwad!" She shouted at me, as I tried to keep it away from her. I was doing my best to be a good friend, but she was quickly testing my limit._

I was woken up from a particularly good dream involving Katy Perry by Carly, saying that her and Sam were at a party and Sam had gotten too drunk too quickly, and that Carly herself had had too many drinks to drive home. I groaned loudly as I pulled the comforter off my bed and threw on some sweats and some sneakers to pick up the drunken girls in question.

"FREEEDDIIIIIEEE!" Carly squealed as I walked into the basement apartment of some low life that was a few years older than us. Chad? Chet? Chip? I didn't know. I didn't care.

Carly was drunk, sure, but clearly in better condition than the blonde girl slumped over on the disgusting futon in the middle of the room. She was being leered at by Chad/Chet/Chip from across the room, and I was relieved that I had gotten there when I did.

I glared at the C-named dude as I lifted her up and draped her arm around my neck, dragging her out of the apartment with Carly stumbling behind us.

We pulled over three different times while Sam puked and Carly rubbed her back affectionately while I cursed them both for overindulging.

We got up to our apartment floor and Carly insisted I take Sam into my house. "You're mom's not even home! And there's no way I'll get past Spencer with her like that!"

Then she batted her cute little eyelashes and I was toast. Sam was giggling at nothing now, leaned up against the wall, and I begrudgingly led her into my apartment.

She immediately began digging though my kitchen cabinets.

"What are you doing, Sam?" I asked, annoyed that she was rifling through my stuff.

"Vodka. Need more Vodka..."

Before I had a chance to tell her that she was more likely to find a grenade in my cabinets than liquor, she shouted,

"JACKPOT!" and produced a small flask that I'd never seen before.

"Guess your mama keeps an emergency stash of…" She paused to open the flask and taste its contents, "….oh! Jack Daniels! Marissa likes the rough stuff!"

My mouth dropped and I immediately grabbed the flask from her fist. The liquor already in her system made her reflexes slower, which was likely the only reason I was able to complete the task.

"Just give me the damn thing back, dorkwad!" She shouted at me, as I tried to keep it away from her. Like I said, I was doing my best to be a good friend, but she was quickly testing my limit.

"Sam, you've had enough, I promise, you don't need anymore!" I argued, and before I could react, she stepped back to get some momentum before hurling herself on top of me, crashing us both to the floor and effectively spilling the disgusting smelling brown liquid everywhere.

"FUCK, FREDDIE!" She shouted as she grabbed the flask from me and drained the remaining few drops. She looked at the mess where it was spilled, likely deciding how desperate she'd be if she started licking it off the floor, then huffed frustratedly, her hot breath blowing over my face. It was far less disgusting than it should have been, and between the cleavage popping out of her shirt as she leaned over me and the intimate position we were in with her straddling me, my body started to react.

I pushed her off of me, half because it's what she was expecting and half because I was mortified of my body's reaction. She landed hard on her ass and I stood up quickly, trying to adjust myself discreetly and then offering her a helping hand to stand up.

She took my hand and stood up, looking up at me with a knowing smirk. That fucking knowing smirk.

"What?" I challenged raising an eyebrow, wondering if she'd have the balls, so to speak, to say what she was thinking aloud. She was nothing if not cruel to me, but this was a line that she'd never crossed before with me.

"You, uh, look like you got a big problem there, Benson." She said, her tone teasing, and becoming far more seductive than I was comfortable with.

My eyes narrowed and I decided to play into it. "Big is the operative word there, Puckett."

She swallowed thickly and I thought I saw some sort of reaction, before her damn knowing smirk was put back in place.

She took a step closer to me and leaned into my ear.

"Prove it," she whispered and then lightly nipped my ear lobe with her teeth.

It was a good thing she was leaned into my neck and couldn't see my reaction, because I'm pretty sure my eyes were ready to pop out of their sockets. I guess this is why we never had any flirty sexual banter. I definitely could not keep up.

Before I could process the absurdity of her request, she lifted her hands up my chest and over my shoulders, wrapping her arms around my neck and pushing her face further into my neck, licking and sucking the spot between my neck and shoulders, effectively erasing any sort of mental function

While my once functional brain had completely frozen, instinct led me to wrap my arms around her waist and bring her body closer to mine, allowing my hands to roam over her back and trace the curves of her sides.

Her mouth trailed wet kisses up my neck and over my chin, and I let out a shaky breath as her fists tightened in my hair. Her lips finally met mine and I eagerly kissed her back, her mouth opening slightly and her tongue darting out to touch mine. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. All of my previous kisses had either been sweet and innocent or lustful and chaotic. The kiss was soft and sweet but sexy and lustful at the same time. It was unbelievable.

She pulled back and looked me in the eyes, her facial features softened and a genuine smile, not a smirk, plastered on her face.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," She whispered, her eyes closing in reverence.

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. What the hell was she talking about? She couldn't stand me! She was constantly torturing, teasing and humiliating me. Why would-

My thoughts stopped dead in their tracks and I started to process something I'd said to her in the first year of our friendship, "_"Y'know, they say when a girl constantly rips on a guy; it __just means she has a crush_ on _him."_

She'd brushed it off my comment then, and I hadn't thought about it since, but I was certainly thinking about it now.

But once again, all coherent thoughts were driven from my brain as she leaned in again, kissing me more forcefully and trailed her hands down my arms until she was resting her hands on top of my own, which were glued to her hips.

She gently moved them up and forward until her breasts were filling my palms. She moaned into my mouth and she kneaded her fingers over my own and the dual actions of her breasts in my hands and hearing her moan made me groan in response.

Our kisses became sloppy and unfocused as her hands returned to the nape of my neck, her fingers tugging at my hair and my hands continued to fondle her chest.

"More," she whispered into my mouth and without thinking, I grabbed her hand and led her to my bedroom.

I heard her give an uncharacteristic nervous giggle as I practically ran into my bedroom and shut the door behind us and pulled her close to me again.

She sighed as I kissed her languidly, and suddenly I stopped and pulled back, disgust overwhelming me. I was no better than that C named asshole. I was absolutely taking advantage of a way too drunk Samantha Puckett. A sense of dread overcame the disgust with myself as I realized how badly she was going to beat me up when she woke up tomorrow. I pushed her away from me and clenched my eyes closed, pinching the bridge of my nose, and willing my lust to take a backseat to my decency.

"What?" She asked self consciously. It was unnerving how much I didn't know the girl in front of me.

"You're really drunk, Sam, and you don't want this, and I just-"

"Don't tell me what I want!" She replied angrily. Ok. THIS Sam, I knew.

I huffed and tried to calm her down. "I'm not trying to tell you want you want…" even though that's exactly what I was trying to do, "I just don't want to be that asshole that takes advantage of a really, really drunk hot girl."

She looked up and again, gave me the damn knowing smirk. "You think I'm hot?" She slurred, further proving my point about her being too drunk, and pissing me off that she was trying to get me to admit something that I didn't want to admit.

"Sam, you know you're gorgeous. Now let's get you set up on the couch and you can sleep it off, and start planning my death for making out with you."

I started to lead her out of my room, when I was turned around and my back slammed up against the door.

"Stop. Telling me. What. To do." She growled and kissed me aggressively, her hips pressing against mine and her hands traveling over my body.

"Sam, I-I think-" I stuttered as her lips traveled down my chin and neck again, the coherent thoughts being driven right out.

"You think too much." She muttered.

She was right. I did think too much. But maybe she didn't understand how dire this was for me. I was far too concerned about the future of my balls and the possibility of her wanting to cut them off for me to fully enjoy what was going on.

As her hands slipped under my t-shirt and her fingers traced around the planes of my chest, my breath left my body in a gust. The sensation was unbelievable. Again, unlike anything I'd ever felt. Why had a girl touching my chest never felt this good?

Against my will and better judgment, my hands started creeping underneath her shirt and started lightly fingering the soft skin of her lower back above her jeans. She was so warm and soft. She let out a shaky breath against my neck.

"Why does it feel so good when you touch me?" she whispered, her voice genuinely confused. I chuckled knowing that her thoughts were at least mirroring my own. Maybe there was something more to us than just a volatile friendship.

Or maybe I was just validating the hell out of it because it'd been far too long since I got laid, and Sam was just so…goddamn…..hot.

It's not that I'd never noticed her hotness; it was just too dangerous to allow myself to go down that road. The change from her tomboy figure to the curvy, voluptuous one that she now possessed was so gradual, and I saw her so often that there wasn't ever a day when she just shocked the hell out of me.

There was, however, the one and only day when I looked. We were rehearsing for a show and there was a bit where Gibby and Sam were having a jell-o wrestling match. Now, it wasn't the skeevy kind with bikinis and whipped cream. This was a down and out dirty wrestling match that ended with Gibby's head completely submerged in blue raspberry jell-o and Carly declaring Sam the winner. She looked absolutely disgusting with huge chunks of blue goo clinging to her skin. Spencer had loaned us his giant coffee cup that we filled with water so that she and Gibby could get in to pre-clean the jell-o and not track the stuff through the house. So when Sam emerged from the cup soaking wet, and her yellow shirt clung to the body that I'd never even considered was under there, I couldn't even help myself but to stare. She proceeded to take the t-shirt off (where a perfectly modest bathing suit was on underneath) and pitched the soaking wet garment onto my computer cart, effectively ruining thousands of dollars worth of technological equipment. Though Carly reamed her out and asked what her problem was, she spared me the embarrassment by not answering and insisting I had it coming simply because I was a nub. I shut my mouth and didn't look at her, or her breasts, ever again.

Until now. They were right there in front of me, pushed together by some sort of torturous looking bra made of blue satin. I think it was blue satin. I could only see about an inch of the bra as I stared brazenly down her shirt.

"You could just take it off, you know. Get a closer look." She interrupted my staring and I cleared my throat, embarrassed to have been caught ogling her so shamelessly.

She smiled crookedly and pushed off of me slightly, dragging her fingers to the hem of her shirt and lifting it over her head, her blonde curls cascading back down and framing the most glorious set of breasts I'd ever seen.

I exhaled shakily as my hands went on their own accord and cupped her. I was right. Blue satin. Torturous looking device that mashed them together and up and made me want to thank god for Victoria's Secret.

_STOP! _My inner monologue shouted at me. _This is wrong! She's way too drunk._

And I was right. I needed to stop. This was moving too fast. Even if it was what she wanted, it was too fast for me. And I still hadn't decided whether or not this was something that I really wanted.

I lowered my hands and she angrily grabbed them in her own and pulled herself closer to me.

"Sam-Sam stop. We need to stop. We shouldn't do this."

She dropped my hands and they fell limply to her sides and she took a minuscule step back.

"You don't want this?" She asked in a small voice.

I knew what she was asking. She was asking me if I wanted her. And I couldn't answer that. Everything had changed so quickly, in the span on 20 minutes we'd gone from possible friends to possible what? A couple? Lovers? Friends with benefits? I had no idea what it was that she wanted, and I didn't know what I wanted from her.

"We need to sleep on it, Sam." I sighed, running my fingers nervously through my hair.

She pursed her lips and nodded, narrowing her eyes and looking around the floor for her shirt and awkwardly putting it back on.

I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have just let her leave my room and faced the awkwardness that would be tomorrow. But no….

"Sam, don't be mad, I just know that this isn't what you want and you should be-"

The last thing I felt that night was a sharp crack to the bridge of my nose before everything else went black.

* * *

THANK YOU A BAZILLION TO MY LOVELY AND WONDERFUL BETA AUSSIEMMA. She is everything amazing and more. Her story Kiss with a Fist is fucking phenomenal and you need to read it. Now. Go. Oh. But review this one first. ;)

Thanks to Earl of Sandwich for being fucking awesome. I tried to write it better, but damn man, you're just fucking awesome. (also people, go read his shit. It's good. Like. Really. Really good.)

Also, read and review the rest of The Cabal!

**~The CABAL~**

**For constant quality!**

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**iCabal**

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**xXACCEBXx**


	2. Potential Energy

_Previously on "Wrecking Ball"…._

_The last thing I felt that night was a sharp crack to the bridge of my nose before everything else went black._

_

* * *

_

_**Ow**_. It was the only coherent thought I was capable of for several moments when I woke up.

I'd never been in this kind of pain before. I mean, sure Sam had caused plenty of simple bodily harm. And I had been hit by a truck before. But this pain, it was different. Worse.

This pain was coupled with the awkward emotional pain that I had brought on myself. Not only did I have to deal with the pulsing ache in my face, but I was sure to have to deal with much worse when I faced Sam again.

I groaned and sat up, the change in pressure actually helping my aching face a little. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was past eight; my mom was due to be home any minute. I panicked, thinking about what the living room and kitchen must look like after last night's scrap over the liquor. I sprinted off my bed and rushed into the other room, only to find it immaculate. There was no liqueur on the floor, the cabinets and their contents weren't in disarray. I took a test sniff, wincing a bit, and noticed that it smelled like Febreeze and bleach. Not Jack Daniels. It looked exactly like it had before I'd gotten the drunken call from Carly. Sam must have cleaned up.

"Huh," I said aloud. I didn't really know what to do with that information. It made no sense. Why would she bother to clean up the mess if she were furious enough to punch me in the face? It seemed to me that she'd welcome the experience of having my mother come home to a booze smelling disaster of a house.

It was at that moment that my mother walked in the door glancing at me and smiling, before the smile dropped and the look of blatant panic crossed it.  
"FREDDIE! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?" She asked, rushing over and cradling my face.

I halted. What would I tell her? I certainly didn't want to tell her all about the debauchery that had gone on here last night. I hated lying to her, to anyone. It just wasn't in my nature. So, I just told the truth. Mostly.

"Sam and I got into a fight," I shrugged.

She balked. "That….GIRL…punched you?" She spoke the word 'girl' with enough sarcasm to drown a fish. It'd always been apparent that Sam was not her favorite person, but Sam would have to turn into Mother Teresa in order to get on her good side now.

"She was upset. I said something to her I shouldn't have-"

"That's NO excuse for VIOLENCE!" She exclaimed, touching the bridge of my nose and I flinched in pain.

"Well, it's definitely broken, but it feels like it's already starting to heal. It doesn't look crooked, thank God; otherwise I'd have to take you to the hospital to be re-broken."

She walked over to the freezer and brought me over an ice pack.

"You. Sit. I will make you some breakfast. What would you like?" She asked soothingly.

"Bagel, toasted with gr-"

"Grape jelly, I know," She smiled. It was the Freddie breakfast way.

I ate my bagel in silence as my mother hummed about the kitchen, making her own breakfast. She stopped suddenly and I turned around to see what happened.

"Freddie-" She started.

"What happened to this cabinet?" She asked suspiciously.

It was the cabinet that Sam had found the flask in. Suddenly the bagel dried up every ounce of saliva in my mouth and I struggled to swallow it down.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

She raised an eyebrow. "None of the spices in here are facing forward. We always leave the spices facing forward. Remember, 'Words we can't see, makes me cra-zy.'"

I sighed in relief. "Oh, yeah, I must have forgotten. Sorry, Ma."

"Hmmm," she replied, annoyed and continued to spin the spice containers the correct way.

Crisis averted. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if she would even bring up the empty flask. It would mean that I'd have to ask her why she had it in the first place.

It was Sunday, which meant that it was my mom's day off. Now normally, Sundays are the roughest days because it's 12 hours of uninterrupted time with my mother, but today, I felt lucky. I welcomed the distraction. Because something told me I was in for a LONG week.

I struggled all day trying to get Sam out of my head to no avail. She wasn't going anywhere. She was cemented into my thoughts, and the scariest part was that I wasn't sure if I wanted her out. Thinking about Sam gave me a weird feeling. Not the fear induced panic I was accustomed to. Not the annoyance or irritated feeling I got sometimes either.

It almost felt like…I didn't even want to put it into words. The idea was just too foreign. But whatever it was, I felt like I had no idea how to act around her. I felt like such a fucking girl. I seriously doubted that Sam was worried about any of this shit. But then that got me on that train of thought. What DID Sam think of last night? Was she wondering if it meant anything? It was all so confusing that I went to bed early just to get away from my own over analytical mind, hoping that a night of rest would give me the answers.

It didn't. Only wet dreams involving Sam's voluptuous breasts.

* * *

Walking into Carly's apartment the next day was…terrifying. I had no idea if Sam was already there, I had no idea if she'd said anything, and I knew I couldn't just pretend that nothing had happened, because of the mess left on my face.

I half hoped and half dreaded that I would find Sam first, so that I could get a read on how she was feeling toward me today. I had no idea what I wanted her reaction to be.

My initial reaction was to hope that she would pretend nothing had happened, but something inside me rejected that immediately. It felt wrong…no wrong isn't the right word. Foreign. It was foreign to want her to act differently around me, but it's definitely what I wanted. I wanted her to feel as awkward as I did. I wanted that night to have meant something to her.

Maybe I was just way too much of a sap. Does every kiss have to mean something Benson? Is it possible that she was just drunk and horny and threw herself at me because I was a warm-blooded male?

But her words came back to me and I heard them on repeat. "_I've wanted to do that for so long….Why does it feel so good when you touch me?"_

Those aren't the words uttered during a random hookup. I think. I have no idea. The only sexual experiences I had to compare to were the ones I had in relationships. Real relationships based on trust and affection. Associating words like trust and affection with Sam was like attributing words like tolerance to Adolf Hitler.

So I took a deep breath and walked into the Shay household where Sam, Carly and Spencer were all in the living room watching a show. Carly and Spencer looked up and said hello then did a double take at my face.

"Holy crap! What happened to you man?" Spencer shouted as he stood up.

Carly's mouth dropped open and then looked over at Sam.

"What did you do, Sam!" She exclaimed.

Spencer looked from me to Sam and nodded. "Ok, that makes sense," He stated and then left the room having lost interest in the exchange.

Sam took a large swig from her smoothie and shrugged, avoiding eye contact with everyone and keeping her focus on the television.

"Don't remember," she grumbled, though no one in the room believed her. Carly eyed me suspiciously, and I shrugged and rolled my eyes to indicate that it was simply another of Sam's shenanigans.

I grabbed a soda from the fridge and chose a spot on the couch next to Carly and pretended to watch TV while I really watched Sam out of the corner of my eye. I didn't seem to have any effect on her at all, and I grew more and more agitated that she was pretending like there wasn't this huge cloud of awkward hanging over us. Carly was going on and on about something, but other than the occasional "uh-huh" or "yeah" neither Sam nor I were participating.

"What's up with you two?" Carly asked.

"What do you mean?" Sam retorted, unfazed by the question. I, however, was sweating bullets.

Carly frowned. "You're both….off, I guess. Seriously though, why did you punch Freddie?" She pushed again.

Sam shrugged indifferently again. "I really don't remember, it's all blurry…" She trailed and looked at me, the first time we'd made eye contact since two nights ago.

She only maintained my gaze for a few seconds, but in those few seconds, I was able to identify everything I felt. Her gaze wasn't cold or aggressive, but soft and vulnerable. I hated being that guy that reads into every single glance, but I knew Sam well enough to know that she felt something too.

Carly wasn't satisfied with that answer and continued badgering us. "Freddie, what happened?"

Both Carly and Sam were waiting for me to answer and I looked into Sam's eyes again. Her gaze was so intense and as she bit into her lip pleadingly. My stomach did a flip. Wait, Sam was giving me butterflies? I filed that away for later contemplation.

I sighed dramatically, "Sam came inside and found a flask of Jack Daniels that my mom hid in our spice cabinet. I tried to wrestle it away from her and she clocked me."

Pretty close to the truth anyway.

Sam looked impressed and nodded. "That sounds like me," She smirked.

Carly rolled her eyes. "I can't believe your mom had a flask in the house!" She said, surprised and I laughed, completely understanding the shock in that.

After that, it seemed that my broken nose and last night was no longer a topic of interest for Carly and the tension that I was feeling seemed to ease.

I was sure that something had changed between Sam and I. I had no idea what it was for her, but I'd never seen her look at me like that. And I'd certainly gotten that nauseous feeling that I used to get when Natalie Tucker used to look at me in Chemistry junior year. It was the tell-tale vomit-y feeling that indicated what had changed for me. I LIKED Sam. And I wanted her to like me too.

I tried to keep the stupid grin off my face as I realized what it was that I was feeling for Sam, and I began trying to come up with ideas on how I could tell her. I mean, this is what she'd want, right? She WANTED to kiss me, she'd wanted to for a long time. She noticed how different it felt when we touched. There was something there. Something more. Something that I'd be a fool not to explore, even if it meant risking broken bones.

Carly interrupted my internal ramblings by indicating that it was time to rehearse. She led the way up the stairs and Sam and I danced an awkward dance of who's going up the stairs first. I finally conceded, and she walked by me, brushing her arm against mine. I felt that same something in her touch, and smiled wider, looking at the floor and silently admonishing myself for being such a giant girl.

She walked two steps ahead of me, and for the first time in years, I took the chance of glancing at her ass.

It was a bad choice. I mean, Sam's ass was a force to be reckoned with. Tight and firm, perky and round. It took everything in my willpower not to cup those sweet cheeks right then and there. Ok, I probably wouldn't have done it. My gentlemanly good sense would never have allowed me to do something so brazen and disrespectful. But my hormonal caveman side, whatever little there was of him, really wanted to. The reason the choice to look was so bad was because I was then left with uncomfortable feeling of blood rushing toward my nether region. As we all reached the top floor to the iCarly studio I mumbled something about needing to use the restroom and stayed on the top step. Carly waved her hand and yelled,

"Whatever, hurry up", and went into the studio. Sam stood with her hand on the door looking back at me and once again, I was faced with Sam's knowing smirk. Her eyes flitted toward my crotch and then back to my eyes and she licked her lips. Not in a porn star obvious kind of way, in a way that was so innocent, that yesterday I wouldn't have thought twice about it. I was thinking more than twice about it now. What those lips could do…have done…will do….

It felt like pure adrenaline was coursing through my veins. I let out a shaky breath and smirked back at her, thrilled with whatever was passing between us.

"Sam! What are you staring at?" Carly asked from inside the studio. With that, Sam flashed me one more grin and went in the room.

I tore down the stairs and went into the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it behind me. There was no way I could do any sort of rehearsal without some kind of release. I felt weird and gross to want to jack off here in Carly Shay's bathroom, but I honestly felt like there was no other option.

It didn't take much. I could recall with perfect clarity the size, weight and feel of those perfect breasts in my hands and I was done in an embarrassingly quick amount of time.

After a thorough washing and straightening of my clothes, I went back up the studio and got through the rehearsal. It was very straightforward and professional, as it always was. Sam and I had agreed to be civil to each other for the sake of the of the show years ago, so it didn't appear unusual for Sam to be…um..not kicking my ass or torturing me in some way.

After the rehearsal, the girls plopped in their beanbag chairs while I put the equipment away slowly, trying to stay in the room as long as possible with her before I was expected to return to my apartment next door like I always did. I was anxious for Carly to leave the room so I could have a minute to talk to Sam alone. It wasn't that I was trying to hide anything from Carly, it was just that I had no idea what was going on, and I wanted to figure it out before I included my best friend. Heck, I'd have no idea what to tell her now even if I did want to tell her.

I finished packing up my stuff and went to stand in front of them.

"So…I guess I'm going home now." I said, cringing inwardly at my awkwardness. I think Sam called this frontrum, when someone else is embarrassing themselves and you just feel like you want to crawl under a rock for them? Yeah, they looked like they were feeling that for me.

"Ooookay, Have a good time with that." Carly nodded condescendingly.

I grunted, frustrated, and left the apartment in a huff, mad that I didn't get a chance to talk to Sam, and irritated that I was making shit weird between all of us.

* * *

I sat in my computer chair in my room, staring at the computer screen and looking at absolutely nothing and everything that the internet had to offer, but was unable to focus on anything. My mind was spin into a cycle of self deprecating abuse when my cell phone rang.

"I'm coming over tomorrow," Sam said without any hello.

"Uh….okay," I answered confused, but elated. "When?"

"When I show up, dillweed," she retorted.

I smiled. "All right, just don't show up before 10am or you'll see my mother, and she's not too happy with you right now," I warned.

She scoffed. "A- When was the last time I got up before 10am for ANYTHING? And B, your mother…well…we don't have enough time to go through what's wrong with her."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow," I said, beaming.

"Sure, and Benson?" She asked.

"Yeah?"

"You better not wuss out on me this time, or I'll take out a knee."

* * *

**AN: Thanks for such a great response! I'm writing this one completely off the cuff. I have no outline, which is usually a big fat no no. So I'm hoping I can keep it up, but I expecting some plot holes to come through, lol. Forgive me.**

**Like you're reading this piece for the plot. Pfft. Yeah, they're gonna do it. Eventually. LOL.**

**Thanks to my amazing Beta Emma, who deserves a medal for the amount of whiny fucking emails she gets from me. The Earl of Sandwich too, you guys are the most amazing listening board…and they are both INSANELY TALENTED WRITERS. PLEASE go read and review their stories. :) After you review this one….**


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